Love · FORTUNE
Fortune #01
Good fortune
Someone close may need room to finish speaking more than an expert answer. Put down what is in your hands and hear them out.
QUOTE CARD
A quote for you
“ฟังอย่างสงบ แล้วเราจะรับสิ่งที่มีค่าและมองเห็นสิ่งที่ไม่จริงได้ชัดขึ้น”
— พลูทาร์ก
นักเขียนชีวประวัติและนักปรัชญากรีก ผู้ประพันธ์ Parallel Lives และ Moralia
- Person
- Plutarch
- Source work
- On Listening
- Source text
- Those who have been trained to listen with modest self-control will accept a valuable argument and make it their own.
STORY & REFLECTION
The small bid that was heard
Research-based illustration · Turning toward in conversation
Illustrative scene: After work, one partner begins describing being criticized in front of the team. The other immediately suggests changing jobs and sends a list of companies before the story is finished.
The speaker goes quiet. The advice may be useful later, but no one has asked how the experience felt. When the partner returns with “Tell me more; I am listening,” the conversation can begin again.
Gottman describes small words, gestures, and questions that seek attention as bids. Consistently turning toward them can help partners feel seen and connected, even when the response does not immediately solve the problem.
You need not fix everything the moment your partner starts speaking. Hearing the whole story may be the help they want.
Reflection
Listening need not produce an instant solution.
A small action today
Ask whether they want listening or help finding a solution.
A question to reflect on
When they last shared something hard, where did you move to solutions before listening?